A Baseball Sonnet

Sticking with the running theme of celebrating pitchers & catchers reporting -- a Shakespearian sonnet:

The grassy fields of Hammond Stadium

Are live this morn with sound of bat and glove.

Walkways and bleachers filled with fandom's hum

As sunlight and hope stream from skies above.

Mauer stretches and tests an achy knee,

While Cisco winds and loosens up his arm,

And Revere runs the fields smiling with glee

As prospects show early to prep for the farm.

The spring is here and summer can't be far.

Soon mascots, organs and anthems will sing.

Fans will fill stadiums, their couch and bar,

To see teams begins the quest for a ring.

We get seven months before sign of fall,

It's time to enjoy the beauty of ball.

Love & Baseball

I don't know why people like the home run so much. A home run is over as soon as it starts... The triple is the most exciting play of the game. A triple is like meeting a woman who excites you, spending the evening talking and getting more excited, then taking her home. It drags on and on. You're never sure how it's going to turn out. - George Foster

I've always loved baseball. And I've always liked women. When the two meet, it's great.

To be fair, even though I was always a Twins fan when I lived in Minnesota, I never became such a die-hard fan until I moved to New York and was separated from my team. Baseball was always great, but I think I took for granted being so close to my team and being able to have them anytime I wanted. The same goes for relationships I suppose, but its first evidence in my life was made plain in baseball.

My girlfriends when I lived in Minnesota were never really baseball fans (perhaps that's why they never worked out), but since I've moved to New York I've either sought out Twins fans or converted them. Yes, converted them. Or at least attempted to.

For example, my first serious girlfriend in New York was not really into baseball at all. A New York art student, Floridian, vegetarian, nothing really conducive to baseball. But in order to make things work, much to her credit, she actually attempted to adopt my team and develop an interest in the game. Early on I went out and bought a Joe Nathan t-shirt jersey in men's small and gave it to her saying it was my old shirt I'd grown out of. Nathan however did NOT become her favorite player. Despite his lovable facial twitches and being the best closer in Twins history, no, she fell instead for Torii Hunter.

Torii was an easy player to love I suppose. And it didn't hurt that when we went to a game at Yankee Stadium, her first Twins game, Torii belted a go-ahead homerun in his first at bat and she stood up cheering and said "I think I like HIM!" Her Torii Hunter connection was furthered later when she found out that her favorite place to eat in Minnesota, The Original Pancake House, was also Hunter's. It didn't matter, she liked the Twins, she was hooked. Pick any player she wanted, I'd finally found a Twins fan in New York.

At the time, my roommate was a Detroit Tigers fan. My girlfriend spent a lot of time at my apartment and her proximity to the two of us probably forced her to get into baseball more than she otherwise would have. After awhile she told me that she didn't like watching baseball with me because if we lost I'd be upset the rest of the day and act really depressed. But she pressed on, still watching baseball and sometimes falling asleep in extra innings, sometimes awake enough to celebrate 9th inning walk offs. But the real test was on the last day of the season when the Twins won and she actually encouraged me to switch channels and start cheering for the Royals to beat the Tigers to see if we could make the post-season.

We did. Of course. And my roommate came home upset and she got her first taste of gloating.

But I know she's not a baseball fan anymore. Perhaps that means she never really was. Perhaps the departure of Torii Hunter doomed the relationship and to be a true Twins fan you need to be in love with the team and not just a particular player. Life's eternal questions.

I later started dating another girl for awhile. She was an avid sports fan from Arizona, but primarily baseball and basketball. This was my first taste in starting to cheer for the teams of a girl that I liked. While the Timberwolves and Vikings floundered and the Gophers were in the middle of a stretch of nonexistence that they're still in now, I started learning reasons to like Steve Nash and found out what a Sun Devil was. Since the Diamondbacks weren't much of a team she conceded to me on the baseball front and went out to buy a Justin Morneau jersey on her own accord.

But this relationship didn't even survive an offseason. It was short, and baseball never really even got it's chance. We never went to a game together, which is the first sign (although to be fair there was never really an opportunity).

My last girlfriend was a bit of an enigma. She was Polish, and trying to learn about baseball from a slew of Giants fan friends in the year they won the World Series. Our first date was bringing her to a Twins game at Yankee Stadium for a game that got rained out. I was excited because there was someone I liked that genuinely wanted to learn about baseball before meeting me but had no strong allegiance to any team in particular. I got great seats, close to the field (and to Danny Valencia, thinking that he'd be a good introduction for any girl to start liking baseball), but as the skies opened and the game was rescheduled until September, we left the ballpark and settled for dinner instead.

She genuinely started getting into the game, learning how to read balls and strikes, the different between catching fly balls and force-outs, even the hard to grasp rule of tagging up before advancing on a caught fly ball. I made the trip up to Boston to catch the Twins at Fenway and she joined me. Despite another gloomy and rainy day we got to watch our first live baseball game together, and although the Twins lost she started feeling an affinity for Jason Kubel, the only player on our team worth caring about in a season of disappointment. I sometimes wonder how someone could go from cheering for a World Series winner to one of the worst teams in baseball within the span of a year, but she did it admirably.

We spent the summer watching games at the bar or on a hacked MLB.TV account. We caught Liriano's no-hitter, went out of our way to see the Twins play the Giants, and even flew out to see some games at Target Field; but the moment I knew she liked the Twins was when she started referring to them as "us" and "we". Finally, a girl who got it beyond superficial cheering.

But when September rolled around we couldn't catch that rain-out game and gave the tickets to some friends. Kubel seemed destined for departure despite her autographed Kubel baseball and her new Kubel T-shirt, and he ended up making his way to the Diamondbacks early in the off-season (talk about painful for someone who likes the Giants).

Looking back on things I'm not sure if it's right to convert people you like into fans or your team, or if it's even truly possible. Perhaps it does more harm than good. I think you either meet a Twins fan or you accept that the person you love is a fan of another team and learn to live with the differences. I've had the pleasure of getting to know The Geek and The Voice of Reason, and reading the story he publishes every year and seeing the two of them together makes me realize that you can love your team and you can love your person and you don't need to force the two of them together -- it will happen naturally or it won't happen at all.

But as Valentine's Day rolls around today -- and Happy Valentine's Day to everyone -- I'm not looking to create any new Twins fans. I'm counting down the days until my lifelong true love returns.

5. 5 more days. 5 more days until we're back at baseball. That's the best Valentine's Day gift ever.

The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. - Bryant Gumbel

Return To Piranhas?

When Ron Gardenhire announced his projected opening day lineup I don't think there were any surprises, at least not personally. However, not playing coy and announcing to the world before any of them have stepped foot on Hammond Field to take a few warmup swings seems either a little presumptuous or a devilish attempt at lighting a fire under some fringe players.

Personally, it just seems a little deflating. It's hard right now to imagine Willingham and Doumit's impact having never seen them suit up for the Twins, and truth be told I never really payed all that much attention to them before their names starting popping up as possibilities for the Twins. Regardless of how well their bats might play I think it's pretty clear that the 2012 Twins will lack the thump we got a little taste of back when JJ Hardy was batting ninth and Thome was tapping his foot on the bench waiting to mash some taters.

Instead, this is throwing me back to the days when Nick Punto was dirtying up his uniform by sliding headfirst into first base, Jason Tyner was locking down the DH spot, and Luis Castillo was burning his prosthetic knees up the first base line after laying down a bunt for a hit. The top and bottom two spots of the lineup will be a typical return to Piranha fashion, with that injection of speed that we heard about last year but never really got to see.

Leadoff and the two-hole being filled with Denard Span and Jamey Carroll makes decent sense, as both have relatively strong on base skills and once they get on they can hopefully run a little bit. Of course both are somewhat of a question mark as it remains to be seen if Span will return healthy and if Carroll can stave off his aging long enough to play a few more years.

At the bottom of the lineup we're rounded out with the ever-enigmatic Alexi Casilla and then Ben Revere. If either can post a decent OBP the four of these hitters going back-to-back could be enough to to scrap together some typical Piranha runs late in a ballgame. But of course this relies on us seeing the "good" version of Casilla and on Revere improving on his performance at the plate from last year -- neither of which are sure bets.

The other factor to watch will be how the Piranha approach works for the Twins in their new ballpark. Without the aid of the turf in the infield helping them get some seeing-eye singles, the four new Piranhas will have to rely a little heavier on line drives to the gaps to show off their wheels (unless of course they're playing the Tigers and can just lay down bunts up either line).

Regardless, it seems like the Twins are committed to adjusting their offensive approach in Target Field. Going back to what worked for them throughout the middle of last decade. It will be interesting to see if it pays off, because I'm still a little puzzled why they ever changed direction from the 2010 Minnesota Murderer's Row that posted one of the best records the Twins have had in recent history their first year at the new ballpark. Hopefully this year helps them decide if they pursue the small-ball approach they seem set on or else start looking for some power bats again.

*In other news, if you haven't already, please go support Twins maven Lindsay Guentzel in her quest to live in the MLB Fan Cave! I had the pleasure of attending an event there last year and walk by it almost every day as it's down the street from my work. It would be great to have a fellow Twins fan over there and if anyone from our online Twins community deserves it it's definitely Lindsay -- who has made herself omnipresent in the Minnesota sports world.

Resurfacing

Let me take a moment to welcome myself back.

*Moment*

Welcome myself back from what however, I'm not sure. Laziness? Lack of inspiration? Busy personal life? Probably all of the above. One thing is certain and that it's hard to maintain an interest in blogging while your team goes through an endless stretch of ineptitude. That's no excuse though as many excellent bloggers out there continued to write throughout the season (and the lifeless offseason) and my appetite for anything baseball has taken complete advantage of being able to read them every day.

It's tough to know how to get back into this. I'm sure I've lost many loyal readers, and I'm sure Curve's link has been removed from many other blog sidebars. For anyone interested, I'm going to find a way back to writing, but at this point it has to be more for myself than anyone else I suppose.

For anyone who does it on a regular basis, writing is a muscle that needs to constantly be exercised (trite, cliché, eye-rolling everywhere). And if nothing else I hate having that muscle out of shape.

So let's start out slow, disjointed -- the only way to ease back into the tepid water I'm facing.

- I already miss Michael Cuddyer, Joe Nathan, and Jason Kubel. Losing one after the other in succession felt like saying good-bye to best friends. I realize it would have been a mistake to resign them (although I still think losing Kubel is a tough pill to swallow). Doumit should fill in nicely, and Carroll will probably at least be decent, which is a sure step-up from anything we've seen in the middle infield except JJ Hardy. But this is a stopgap, and I'm sure the front office sees it the same way.

- Our bullpen is a hot mess. I thought we tried the same plan last year -- throw a bunch of arms at a wall and see which ones stick. The real problem here isn't that we're not going out and signing solid relievers, that rarely ever works out for teams (e.g. Soriano, Cruz, Rodney, etc. etc.). The real problem for me is that the young talent in our farm season either hasn't risen fast enough or isn't there. I think we'll have a very good idea of if Burnett is for real or not after this season. Why Gutierrez, Bromberg, Manship, Waldrop, or Slama are not viable options for us at this point is beyond me. If we don't believe they'll step up, I can understand roster positions going to people like Phil Dumatrait, Casey Fien, Jeff Gray or people of that ilk, but then the bigger question becomes why aren't we producing our homegrown talent like we were before?

- Tom Kelly's jersey being retired is a classy classy move. That man will forever live in my heart as being the guy that brought World Series titles to Minnesota and it was a sad day when he hung up the clipboard. Not to take anything away from Ron Gardenhire but he has a large shadow of a small man hanging over him. Gardy certainly has some of Kelly's attributes, but the silent effectiveness of TK is something I've always admired. Well done, sir.

That's it for now. Hopefully the next post is more coherent and not far off in the future...

Well ... THAT Happened

There's a lot of caveats to how amazing the game was last night -- but why would you ever dwell on them? In the midst of the worst start to a season that I can remember, Tuesday night's game against the White Sox was the kind of game you need.

Liriano wasn't dominant, but he made history. And that's all that matters right now. I'm going to try to hold off on the griping and complaining about this team for awhile and just tip my cap. Well done. Well done.

The End of Optimism... and also Ribs Are Amazing

It's difficult to find anything to praise in this team right now. I keep looking for the silver lining and they keep handing out plasticware. Looking up at not even just the rest of the division, but the rest of the entire collected teams of Major League Baseball is a tough pill to swallow -- especially for a team coming off a historic season like 2010. Right now the only consolation I can think of is that we're getting to see Rene Tosoni and Luke Hughes get a shot at sticking in the Majors -- two fun players who are probably a little over their heads playing so regularly but could be capable role-players on a team that was actually functioning.

You can only imagine how long the Alexi Casilla experiment is going to go on, two meaningless triples after countless bonehead plays doesn't buy that much. $7 million for JJ Hardy (despite the fact that he's injured) isn't so hard to justify for someone who can actually hold their own in the field and at the plate on a somewhat consistent basis. Not that JJ Hardy would have been the savior of this team, but in a broader sense, looking ahead to the future -- which is about all I can do at the moment -- we have no realistic options at short unless Trevor Plouffe suddenly puts it all together (and I know he's not doing half bad at AAA but I'd like to see it for a full season).

It was both oddly entertaining and also oddly terrifying seeing coolheaded Carl Pavano trashing the Kansas City visitor's dugout with a baseball bat. I kind of hope all of them are feeling that angst. At least Jason Kubel is increasing his mid-season trade stock for us to hopefully net a decent prospect or two for next year, even as Francisco Liriano continues to piss away every amount of confidence he gained by last year's performance.

The person I feel worst for right now is Jim Thome, the ultimate good guy looking to break 600 career homeruns on a championship caliber squad being relegated to burning up roster space on a team that will eventually be needing to start some youngsters for experience once they're knocked out of contention. As they say, you can't win your division in April but you can certainly lose it, and the Twins are doing everything in their power to lose it.

9-18. I have to resist the urge to vomit looking at those numbers. I have to imagine that they'll at least finish at or just above the .500 mark, and while that's still feasible of course, it's going to take a lot, A LOT of ifs to make that happen:

- if Francisco Liriano can start to step up and post numbers like last year...

- if Michael Cuddyer suddenly realizes how to hit again...

- if Joe Mauer returns and can actually do something other than ground into a double play -- while staying healthy...

- if someone in the bullpen other than Matt Capps can show signs of reliability...

- if someone in the combination of a healthy Nishioka, Puntoesque Tolbert, Cuddyeresque Hughes, boneheaded Casilla, and questionable Plouffe can form a keystone combo...

- if Morneau and Young can become the power threats they need to be in order to bulk up this lineup...

then maybe we can get back into contention. But if those things don't start to fall in place by the end of May I think they'll be way too far out of the running, despite the fact that the Central is still acting like they're stuck in hibernation and letting Cleveland and Kansas City get all their nervous energy out of the way now.

Despite the fact that I can hardly consider my outlook optimistic, I got to go to one of the best events I've ever been to this past Friday. The MLB Fan Cave is an awesome new media guerilla marketing technique by MLB to connect with the modern age -- taking two "Ultimate Fans" and making them live and breathe baseball for an entire season. They've taken the old Tower Record space in the Village on Broadway, and converted it into the ultimate baseball playhouse. On Friday night they invited people wearing Twins garb to show up and enjoy a night of baseball with the ultimate fans, and since I live two blocks away from the Fan Cave and pass by it almost every day on my way in to work, I thought I'd accept the offer the check it out myself.

When you walk in there's a huge catwalk above you where they walk up and "change the score" adding a game every time they watch one and taking down a number from the other side of the board in their countdown to the postseason. There is a HUGE wall of televisions, 15 to be exact, where they can have every single game on. Next to the televisions is an electronic map depicting aerial views of every MLB stadium in the country, which light up when a game is being played.

This is the front of the house/seating area

Behind the the bank of televisions is a playground for baseball addicts. A 3D tv station is set up for games broadcast in 3D (yes, those exist), as well as airhockey, shuffleboard and pool tables all decked out with the MLB logos, a beaded portrait of Jay-Z (over 10,000 beads), an electronic graffiti board, a giant statue of Willie Mays, a bank of Macbook pros where the MLB is building every single player's favorite playlists so you can check out your favorite player's musical predilections, and so much more I can't even name.

The electronic graffiti board, ready for the Twins party

They have a huge wall mural where people stop by and autograph and leave mementos when they come to visit -- one is a picture of Huston Street in a jersey that says "Huston Street" -- they apparently decked him out in that jersey and brought him two blocks away to New York's Houston Street (pronounced "House"-ton) and had him ask for directions there -- people kept telling him it's pronounced House-ton and not Huston until finally somebody stopped and said, "Wait a second, you ARE Huston Street!" There were tons of other stories like that, and the place just sounds like a blast.

That night, Lou Bavaro and his wife were serving us the infamous Michelbobs Ribs, and for those of you who aren't aware of the joy that is Michelbobs ... for shame!

Me, Lou, and his wife with Michelbobs ribs

LENIII always mentions it in his spring training guide and I've tried to hype it myself whenever I go down, but they have the most succulent barbeque you'll ever taste, with ribs that literally fall off the bone as you pick them up. They now serve them at Target Field and are also connecting to a bunch of grocers where you can buy them in the store, but for the real experience you need to go to Naples and check out the restaurant. I've had my share of Michelbobs over my life but it was a treat to have Lou and his wife making the ribs themselves, and especially to enjoy it in NYC watching the Twins with some other Twins fans. MLB tried to prepare a banquet to go along with it, and did a pretty good job of stuffing us with mac and cheese, hush puppies, okra, and Budweiser, but the star of the night were those ribs and I think I helped myself to a few plates to save up for next spring.

Probably my third helping, can't remember...

Losing Is a Disease (and other thoughts)

All I can remember from playing baseball -- or other organized sports for that matter -- is that when you get in a funk, it's really tough to break out. It seems like all the breaks go the wrong way and that there's no way to build momentum.

(Link) View more Frank Carpenter Sound Clips and The Natural Sound Clips

It reminds me of that therapist they brought in to speak to the Knights in The Natural -- one of the greatest montage sequences I can think of and it perfectly sums up how everything seems to go wrong during a slump. (I'm not suggesting the Twins bring in any team therapists for positive reinforcement, but at this point, something has to help them.)

We're a whopping 9 games into the season, and it seems like whenever we get any steam that something comes along to take the wind out of our sails. But there are a good 153 games left to play -- it's why we're not cheering for a football team -- and we still haven't even had a whiff of the AL Central yet.

How the Twins perform against the AL Central is going to determine the course of the year, and what better way to start it off than against our favorite whipping post: The Kansas City Royals. I don't think anyone in Kansas City is making plans for the postseason yet, and for that matter, neither are the Indians. This time of year the standings get a little topsy-turvy, and I fully anticipate that towards the middle of May we'll be able to start sifting through the wheat from the chaff and see who really wants a seat in the division.

THOUGHTS:

- Nishioka's injury was unfortunate. I was there with a couple of friends and honestly my attention was focused on the throw over to first and I missed the collision. It sounds like it could have been a lot worse, but watching Ryo and the team doctor help Nishi hobble off the field was a depressing sight, made slightly worse by the sympathetic Yankee fans who admirably gave him some applause as he made his way off the field. This of course opens the door for Luke Hughes to make a statement, but it appears that until the Twins can find some semblance of an offense that Gardy might be trotting Cuddyer out at 2B in order to get as many big bats in the lineup as he can. I think the Nishi injury actually could help him out a little bit, I don't see any way that he comes back without a rehab assignment and it might be good to let him play for a little bit in the minors and start to figure out the strike zone a little better.

- Thome hit 590 Sunday. If the injury bug keeps forcing him into the lineup on a more consistent basis I think we see 600 at just about the All-Star break and he passes Sosa before the end of the year. That's my eternal optimist, but there's got to be something positive to think about right now.

- Morneau and Nathan are encouraging. The fact that they're playing at all is something to be thankful for, and I'm not really that concerned about either of them. Nathan will perhaps never be as dominant as he was before the injury, but his velocity is better than I expected and he always liked to make things interesting at the end of games anyway. Morneau is connecting well, it's just not getting many results. I think his performance Sunday against the A's which included a few bleeders and bloops means that things will start to even out a little bit for him and hopefully some of his more solid hits will start to drop. All it takes is that first homerun and I think we'll see the power floodgates rip open for him.

- Our bullpen is actually alright! I think when Slowey comes back healthy that will be a huge boon as he could really thrive in a short relief role. (Of course I think he could thrive as a starter again too, much honestly he gives me more confidence out of the pen than most of the people on our roster.) Capps/Nathan is one of the better tandems to end a game, and Mijares and Perkins have both looked rather solid as well. I'm reserving judgment on Manship because I think he is what he is for his role in the 'pen, Hughes I'm still a little wary of but he's looked just fine -- especially getting out of that jam on Saturday night.

- It's a little disappointing having already had the boys in my neck of the woods and not being able to see them again for awhile. They've rescheduled the rained out Yankee game for a TBD date in September, which I guess gives me something to look forward to then -- but right now I'm just looking forward to Fenway and finding an excuse to fly back to Minnesota for a little bit. Local fans don't know how lucky they have it.