Dreaming of Roy

Normally when you a see top tier trade target you can take the Twins out of the running, so when Roy Oswalt decided to declare his eligibility on the trade market (much to Houston's chagrin, I'm sure) it took me awhile to realize that we might actually have interest.

The Twins have set the standard high this year -- making sweeping moves in the offseason, locking up the best player in baseball to a record contract, and matching those moves with solid upper echelon play on the field.

The only thing lacking? A legitimate ace. Liriano could be that ace if he keeps that magic alive and forgets his last few starts, but it's not so often you see someone of Oswalt's caliber waiting to fall into your lap.

I could get into all sorts of stats that show that despite entering his mid-thirties he's still a better starter than anyone on our staff, but Gleeman is much better to read in that regard. Let me just sum up a few thoughts:

Negatives:

- Salary. We've committed a lot of money to the team we have and Oswalt's owed a good chunk of money this year and next. Sure, the front office has been willing to spend this offseason for a contender, but how much is too much? If we acquire Oswalt we could be stretching our budget at the seams, and that always leads to disappointment and payroll shedding.

- Who does he replace? Slowey's been a little ineffective this season but do you give up on him when we all know how good he can be? If not Slowey, I don't think that Pavano, Baker, Liriano, or Blackburn have done anything to justify demotion. Perhaps his acquisition would simply bump Slowey or Blackburn into something of a long-relief role in the 'pen? I suppose too many starters is a good thing but you still have to answer who doesn't take the mound every fifth day.

- What do we have to give up? I don't think Oswalt will command a king's ransom, but he won't be cheap either. Houston's top prospect is a catcher so I doubt Wilson Ramos becomes a trade chip. So what other top prospects do we build a trade around? I don't think anyone wants to put Kyle Gibson in a package, that would be shortsighted. Is Ben Revere blue-chip enough? Maybe something like Ben Revere, Alex Burnett and Jeff Manship? Or maybe Bromberg and Revere? Whoever we give up for Oswalt is going to hurt and it's going to be a risk. There's no way we send them Luke Hughes and Drew Butera...

Positives:

- He's durable and effective. Last year was a little bit of an off year for him, but other than that you could bank on 30 starts, 200 innings, and a respectable ERA, WHIP, and K/BB ratio. That's the kind of pitcher every team wants and someone I'm sure we would to.

- He'd be our ace. That would take a ton of pressure off Liriano, who everyone still looks to this year to carry this rotation. If Oswalt is here to take some of that pressure off, perhaps Liriano can find his groove with a little less spotlight shining on him.

- He legitimizes us. I think every national writer loves the Twins but remarks on how we don't have any established stud in our rotation yet. Oswalt being a Twin changes all of that, and we suddenly become a team that goes toe-to-toe with anyone in a short postseason series.

- He could also take Peavy out drinking whenever we face the White Sox and perhaps get him in trouble...

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All that being said, I think there's legitimate reason to pursue Oswalt if the price is right. I actually wouldn't be surprised this year if we winds up in a Twins uniform, but I don't think I'd be heartbroken if he doesn't land with us.

Thoughts?

I Saw The Lights Go Out on Broadway

I've lived in New York for 7 years now -- and despite attending at least one Twins game in the Bronx every year, I had never seen a win. We might be playing well or leading into the 9th inning, but the results were always the same: Frank Sinatra blasting over the speakers about how amazing New York is and the smug looks on Yankee fan faces as I trudge back to the subway.

This year, I had the opportunity to go to all three games in the Bronx. I figured with one of the strongest teams we've ever fielded and with how well we've been playing of late, I was guaranteed to reverse my trend.

Friday I ditched out of work with a co-worker as soon as we could (he's a Yankee fan and thus acted as my bodyguard during my time in enemy territory). We missed the first inning as we hung out in line for our first beers and hot dogs of the season and by the time we made it to our seats I realized I hadn't faced one insult yet. I think it was either the fact that I had my Yankee "bodyguard" with me, or maybe they just realized how sad Twins fans must be....

View from our seats Friday night

This game actually started off great. We were playing competitively and I was able to forget about our complete ineptitude in the Bronx and actually imagined that we might, might stand a chance.

Then came the at-bat that still sends shivers down my spine. Guerrier vs. A-Rod. The place was in uproar. From the time A-Rod stepped out of the on-deck circle the cheering was so loud I wanted to shove forks in my ears. If we had actually shown any reasonable amount of success in the past, I might have been a little more confident (I didn't have the Guerrier/A-Rod career numbers in front of me...) but I knew this was the beginning of our decline.

Twins fans in front of me feel my malaise as well...

Let's just say it was a long walk home to the subway again...

One thing about coming back from Yankee Stadium is that it's always a surging mass of humanity on the way back to public transportation. You actually get home fairly quickly as they stack trains for you and fill each one up, but you still inevitably stand around on the platform surrounded by gloating Yankee fans whose eyes you can feel burning into your back as you try to remain as discreet as possible...

SATURDAY:

This time I was accompanied by both a fellow-Twins fan and a new Yankee fan "bodyguard" to protect both of us. We grabbed some brunch and cabbed it up to the stadium to make it in time. This was the day I was most excited about: I've been talking up Liriano's return to dominance to every Yankee fan I know.

My long march to disappointment...

I had my company seats today (which are awesome, and my work is quite generous to always remember when my home team is in town).

Sheltered from the sun slightly too so I don't get sunburned or rained on...

This game unfortunately just spiraled out of hand from the get-go. Liriano sure didn't look the part of the ace that I had been bragging about. While he actually didn't pitch that bad and ended up stranding plenty of runners, he still let those runners on and that was the tough part to watch.

As soon as the wave broke out for the second straight day I knew this game was over and began trying to distract myself...

...thankfully I couldn't see much of the field at that point because of some Yankee douche having fun on free hat day...

I could easily look into the press box so I spied on La Velle, Kelsie Smith, Kelly Thesier, and #StupidSouhan a little ... and I also got to watch Nick Swisher on some sort of cooking show? Because I guess the game wasn't interesting enough at that point?

My blackberry zoom isn't good, he's in the red hat. Don't know if the chef or the food would make me vomit first.

(Also I need to point out somewhere that I totally predicted Lookin' At Lucky to win the Preakness but I never made it to the OTB! He was #7, which is Mauer's number, and I was hoping we'd get lucky on Sunday.. in the bar pool though I drew Yahwanna Twist and kept trying to trade with the person who drew Lookin' At Lucky. But this is all besides the point...)

SUNDAY (GLORIOUS DAY)

I was a little worried about today. I was sitting up in the cheaper seats towards the top (which is the same area I sat in the playoffs last year). My buddy Tim took me to the game, one of the nicer Yankee fans I know, but I am of the firm belief that the rowdier and douchier fans tend to congregate towards the top of the stadium and thin out the further down you get. So perhaps my lack of verbal abuse was about to finally even out...

For being up high we had an awesome view!

I wasn't too encouraged about our chances going into this game. Despite the fact that the law of averages said we should win a game sometime, and despite the fact that we were going up against Sergio Mitre (my second favorite Yankees pitcher after Javier Vasquez), I knew we could find a way to lose if we really wanted to.

That being said, I tend to remain horribly optimistic. Even on Saturday I had hung around until the last pitch just in case we mounted a miraculous comeback. In the 8th inning as Joba began to struggle with control and our bats started to wake up a little bit, Yankee fans had completely forgotten to take us seriously. Half the stadium was back into the wave for the third straight day and was finally starting to get it traveling by the time Texeira made an Adrian-Peterson-like fumble to load the bases.

This seemed to wake everyone up a little bit. My pulse was racing as I saw Girardi come out to the mound and heard the first few chords of Enter Sandman start playing over the loudspeakers. It was like a maelstrom of activity between Yankee fans going crazy cheering, my phone vibrating with new text messages every 10 seconds, and my heart racing at the thought that maybe we might actually stand a chance.

That Kubel grand slam was the closest feeling to euphoria that I can remember.

It was like the air was sucked out of the stadium around me as Yankee fans everywhere collapsed into their seats cursing and groaning. It was beautiful. Not only did we end our drought against the Yankees and our drought of bases-loaded hitting, but we paid them back for all the times they slaughtered Joe Nathan and sent us home with heartbreak.

The tides have turned. That was the only way to come out of the Bronx that day with any sort of momentum or sense of success.

Now I can't wait to go back in October...

(leaving you with a ghost of old Yankee Stadium...)

Adventures in Left Field

There is a third outfield position beyond that which is known to man. It is a position as vast as Safeco and as timeless as Fenway. It is the left-center ground between stadium lights and nightfall, between stats and gut managerial decisions, and it lies between the pit of fielders' errors and the summit of their web-gems. This is the third outfield position of natural baseball instincts. It is an area which we call "The Left Field".

The roar of applause as the Twins take the field. And it's a field now. Not something made of newly designed astroturf and concrete, this is actual Kentucky Bluegrass and you can feel it give under your cleats as you sprint through the infield on your way out to that vast territory -- that sprawling landscape encased on one end by the Budweiser Party Deck and on the other by that I Love Lucy-era cartoon billboard that lights up and shakes hands when you score.

So there's a certain extra weight on your shoulders now. You used to have that old excuse: It wasn't ever a field before. Not in Tampa; not in pre-outdoors Scandinavia. It was a dome, and things were lost in the lights, and the ball carried differently -- now it's just a normal ballpark: the kind you played in when you were a kid where you were the main attraction (only this time there's 30,000 some fans watching your every move).

No pressure. You were once thought to be the answer. Some franchise outfielder leaves and what's their answer? You. You. You. They even trade away a first-round talent (whose box score you try to ignore every 5th night) just to slot you into their offense, no big deal right?

Well there's that fact that you've never seen a curveball you didn't like to chase. The dirtier the better. Watching its nice leather skin get all soiled up around the plate as you swing your bat -- that's the feeling you've come to love.

But it's not your plate discipline (or lack thereof) that you're worried about tonight: it's the fact that you don't know how to play any defensive position other than DH. Nothing looks more comfortable than the pine over there in the dugout. It's understandable too, because when anything is hit in your direction you look about as awkward as a stuttering 8th-grader trying to read Shakespeare at the Globe ... in Chinese. Do you go left? Do you go right? Do you break towards the warning track or move in? Better wait until it gets closer and just randomly dive for it so you can look like you really exhausted your physical abilities on that play...

It's OK. Try thinking of the math. There's 3 outs every inning and 27 every game. There's also 9 positions on the field. So if you all get an equal share of the outs you're only responsible for 3 of them. 3 fly balls ... that isn't so tough is it? 3 balls per game on an average night? But that's 486 of them over the course of the season, it's like those baseballs are just seeking you out trying to make you run yourself to exhaustion and awkwardness.

Or maybe they're just seeking you out to hurt you...

A never-ending cycle of baseballs flying at you that pop out of the heel of your glove or travel to your right when you are angling towards the other direction. You'd better hope there isn't an alternate universe where Sports Center shows the Bottom 10 plays every morning, because you don't like attention...

***Crack of the bat***

Oh, s**t, what were you thinking about again? Wait, is that coming towards you? Can't tell! Hold on...

You'd much rather be waiting tables right now, wouldn't you?

Our Minors are a Major Help

It's only been around 30 games into this season and our team has already been reaping the benefits of our bountiful farm system. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like the injury bug has been biting everyone on our team to some extent, and really testing our depth in several areas. While we haven't had any major, season-ending injuries yet (that happened before the season) all the nagging day-to-day injuries can start to rack up.

One of my primary concerns coming into the season was if we had the depth in our minors ready to step in and help out. Our major league team looked solid from top to bottom, but what if we needed to start filling in replacements during the season?

Well, whether it be rotation, bullpen, or positional players, we've answered everything thrown at us so far:

MANSHIP:

Filling in for a spot start to replace Blackburn, Manship came up and didn't miss a beat. Lasting 6 strong innings, and giving up only 2 runs and a walk while striking out 6 Indians, he looked every bit the big-leaguer -- and if I remember nothing more than the Cleveland announcers bemoaning our seemingly endless supply of pitchers in the minors.

RAMOS:

Other than giving us the catharsis of finally seeing out what we've been missing out on, Ramos has been a more than capable player over this stretch, despite being way above his head. Despite getting off to a record-setting start, Ramos has understandably cooled and shown everyone that maybe he isn't quite ready to take the majors by storm yet, but it's still been fun to see his name pencilled into the lineup everyday -- and I have to admit that I don't get nervous or upset whenever I see him walk up to the plate because you can see the potential brimming out of him.

BURNETT:

Talk about coming out of nowhere this year! Despite his obvious talent, I don't think anyone saw Burnett breaking camp with the big league team this year -- and I'm sure no one expected him to last this long. While his dominance from the minors hasn't translated completely, he by no means looks overmatched in a Twins uniform on a major-league mound. Averaging just over 1 strikeout per inning, he's one more reliable arm in our pen (which has been one of the best in baseball this year, despite the loss of Nathan). Obviously anything can happen but if Burnett keeps pitching at this level I don't see him heading back to the minors at all this year.

BUTERA:

Until my dying day I'll say that his reputation as a defensive whiz catcher is vastly overrated -- but I think people mean to say that he calls a great game. And THAT I cannot deny. He definitely looks mature and confident in the crouch behind home-plate, and despite the fact that he doesn't really know how to connect with the bat, he still managed to show up Mauer's return to the lineup against the Orioles. Obviously I'd rather see Morales or Ramos playing when Mauer isn't in the lineup, but to have 4 major-league quality catchers on your roster is something most other major league teams can only dream of.

HUGHES:

Sure, he only had a cup of coffee, but it's about time someone brought him up to get a look at the next level of competition. And how did he respond? How about a homerun in his first plate appearance! Ramos may have gone 4-5 in his debut, but Hughes absolutely jacked one in his first at bat. This is the kind of role-player production from unheralded sources that great teams can utilize.

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So who's next? We could see Hughes or Manship again before the year is out. And we'll more than likely see Ramos again at least in September after his more than certain return to the minors.

We still have top prospects about to arrive from Rochester in the form of Danny Valencia, Anthony Slama, and Rob Delaney. There's speculation that Revere, Tosoni, and even Bromberg might get to taste big league action if needed this season.

By no means do I want anyone on our major league roster to become injured or ineffective, but I must admit that I'm excited to see who gets called up next!

Bases Loaded and Nobody Home

My work as a producer requires me to work with numbers to some extent, but by no means would I consider myself a mathematician or a statistician, so forgive my post, please. But I think the principle I'm harping on is relatively understandable even by those, like myself, who find their head spinning around numbers for the most part...

I really like to think that I don't knee-jerk in my reactions to a few bad outings or for underperforming. But, truth be told, this lack of hitting with RISP and bases loaded is actually starting to gnaw on me. I'm not sure I've been any less excited to see bases loaded than I am currently when watching a Twins game.

To be fair, I really don't think this can or will continue forever. But the one thing I'm going to draw the line at is that I don't believe this will necessarily course-correct or even equal out over the season. Currently the Twins are hitting a measly .143 with bases loaded. The 2009 MLB average was .279 with bases loaded.

Assuming the league average is a good bar to judge by, this ultimately means that the average team should have a 279/1000 chance of getting a hit every time a player steps up to bat. What it doesn't mean is if your team is currently hitting .143 that you will undoubtedly catch a string of good luck and by the end of the season will be hitting .279. If the Twins have gotten themselves off to a horrible start, those numbers will remain, and the next time someone steps up with bases loaded their chances aren't weighted, they should still have about a 279/1000 chance.

Say you roll a die and it lands on a 3. If you roll it again, you have just as much chance of it landing on a 3 this time as a 1, 2, 4, 5 or 6. The fact that you rolled a 3 previously does not change your chance every time you release.

While batting averages are useful in guesstimating future performance, it doesn't necessarily fluctuate your chance of getting a hit. Continuing to come up without runs in bases loaded situations is not a guarantee that we will get a floodgate of them coming soon. To expect that is unrealistic.

This isn't all doom and gloom though. If the Twins can get the monkey off their back and start hitting as calmly and patiently as they do for the majority of the game, they will undoubtedly see their average rise. I don't think it will necessarily rise to league average if it doesn't happen soon, we likely will end up below the median at the end of the year, but they just might catch a hot streak and things could even out -- it's just not a given.

The other good thing is the most obvious: The Twins still have been winning. Despite looking absolutely clueless with the bases loaded, they still pile on the runs and tally up the wins (Wednesday and Thursday regardless...). All teams have at least one weakness, but the good teams make up for their weaknesses and still find a way to win. I think that would classify us as a good team...

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Quick plug, if you haven't been to a Twins Centric viewing party yet, mark your calendar for the Saturday, May 15th showdown against the Yankees. It is being held at the Major's in Bloomington -- which happens to be almost right down the street from my childhood home!

You can use the opportunity to meet up with other Twins bloggers and fans and a fun game to play could be perusing the stands and trying to be the first person to spot the three Twins fans being assaulted in the middle level behind home plate... I will wear my bright blue Twins T-shirt and red Twins cap to try to make myself easier to spot against a sea of navy. My work was kind enough to again give me the company tickets to see our boys from the awesome seats that they have -- and hopefully this time we might actually come away with a win! So while I won't be there with everyone at the viewing party this month, I'll join them in spirit!

E:60 Mauer Special Tonight

I pick on ESPN a little bit sometimes, perhaps unfairly, perhaps fairly.

Yes, Jon Miller, I'm looking at you.

But it's all in fun. Because any sports network is going to have their faults (especially the YES network), but the key thing is that ESPN happens to have many pluses that some of us cynics tend to take for granted. Example?

E:60 is one of the best regular sporting news featurette shows that I've ever seen. Combing the world of sports for interesting, inspiring, or scandalous stories they make an excellent weekly hour-long program -- and this week is certainly no exception.

Seeing as I'm now some sort of pre-eminent blogger (I'll excuse you while you laugh too), I've been fortunate enough to receive some sort of press release from said ESPN which I'd like to pass on to all of you...

...wait for it

E:60 has a special Joe Freakin' Mauer!!!!!! segment airing tonight at 7PM EST/6PM CST! And we all know how much we love Joe Mauer. How much we just want to bask in his presence. Every girl wants to date him and every guy wants to be his best friend and the rest of us really could care less which we get to do as long as it involves spending time with him.

Anyway, a press release wouldn't really be a press release without some sort of teaser. You can watch a video clip of the show here (click on the middle video with the picture of Joe's mom on the front). My favorite part is when Jake Mauer Sr. talks about walking into a Target with him and everyone trying to rip Joe's clothes off. Yeah, Joe, now you can finally empathize with what it's like for me to walk down Broadway at 1AM.

"Twins Bloggers: Get to Know 'Em" presents Eric of Call to the 'Pen!

I can't believe it's taken me this long to have Eric do a Get to Know 'Em blogger profile! Call to the Pen wasn't one of the first blogs I discovered, but it's certainly one of the best. Eric's able to walk that nice line between satire and analysis that I've been getting tripped up on since my blog's inception. Not only does his humor strike a chord with me, but his being a fellow Midwestern ex-pat living out East enforces that sense of kinship.

I've quickly found that he's a great guy to read and also a great guy to get to know, so that being said I'll let you all have a chance to get to know him too:

Personal-

NAME: Eric Donald Olson. I haven't decided on my "law" name yet. Maybe I'll be E. Donald Olson. Or E.D. Olson. Or maybe I'll be Eric. Who knows.

WEBSITE: Call to the 'Pen (http://thetwinsdifference.wordpress.com)

BIRTHDAY: June 25th

HOMETOWN: I was born in Iowa City, consider Bismarck, ND to be my hometown, and live in Alexandria, VA.

WHAT KEEPS YOU EMPLOYED OTHER THAN BLOGGING: Right now, nothing. I'm writing about five papers at once so I actually graduate from law school, studying for the Virginia bar exam, and hoping that the legal market in the Washington, DC area recovers in the next, oh, day or so.

FAVORITE COLOR: I can't say I've ever had a real favorite color. When I was a kid, I was always afraid the other crayons would feel bad if I didn't pick them, and by the time I outgrew that (about age 8), I had figured out it didn't matter. If I had to pick, though, I'd probably choose some kind of forest green.

FAVORITE FOOD: Really anything that has pasta, sausage, and/or bacon as a main ingredient. My current favorite recipe is for a three-cheese homemade macaroni and cheese (romano, sharp cheddar, and gruyere), which I like to serve with grilled kielbasa and vegetables.

FAVORITE MOVIE: I can't really say I have a favorite movie. As of right now, the Tom Hanks classic Philadelphia holds my interest pretty well, but I have really fallen in love recently with the beauty and depth of story present in the Hayao Miyazaki animated films, particularly Princess Mononoke.

FAVORITE BOOK: The Oresteia, by Aeschylus. I would probably rate Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Notes from Underground and Gregory Clark's A Farewell to Arms are probably the runners up. Oddly, I have several thousand books, but own a copy of neither.

FAVORITE TYPE OF MUSIC: 90s rock, Grunge, Piano Rock, etc. I'm definitely a child of the 90's, music-wise.

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH OTHER THAN BASEBALL: College Football. I'll watch the NFL if there's nothing else going on, but I get so much more out of watching the non-professionals go at it.

FAVORITE SPORT TO PLAY: Baseball/softball (corner outfield and catcher) and Soccer.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE VIKINGS/TIMBERWOLVES/WILD: Big fan of the pre-Favre variety/Couldn't Care Less about the NBA in general/Mildly Disinterested - Washington Caps fan. The Caps are the one team I've adopted since I moved out here.

General Baseball-

WHAT MAKES BASEBALL SO GREAT TO YOU?: SHS: Strategy, History, and Statistics. To me, those are the three things that separate baseball from the other major sports (NBA, NFL, NHL, etc.). Baseball has the longest and greatest history of any one of them (and it's not close), and today's game is still effectively the same as it was back in the humble beginnings. We still talk about the greatness of Babe Ruth and his records still mean something. In football, the rules have changed so drastically so many times that records mean nothing from era to era. Finally, the statistical background in baseball is absolutely phenomenal - you can watch the game, and then spend hours reading about why what happened, er, happened.

IF YOU HAD TO FOLLOW ANOTHER TEAM, WHICH AND WHY: Man, that's tough. As someone that has really tried hard to adopt the Nats, I can tell you that it really isn't easy (though that might be because the team is just. so. bad.) But if I had to follow another team, it would certainly be the Nats. I feel like they have drafted really well for the last couple years (at least, the draftees that signed were good), and they have a bright future, so long as they don't have another Bowden situation. I would say the Orioles, for all the same reasons (if they get rid of Trembley, that is), but I can't pick another AL team. After following the Twins for so long, following another AL team would feel too much (bizarrely, to be sure) like I was leaving my wife for her sister (I think I'm safe to say that, since she doesn't have a sister ;-) ).

BEST EXPERIENCE AT A BALLPARK OTHER THAN THE DOME/TARGET FIELD: Man, I love Camden Yards. The new Nats Park is nice, but it really doesn't compare to Camden. My best non-Dome experience would have to have been in the summer of 2008. It was a Fri-Sun series with the Twins and the O's, but the Friday night game was rained out, so on Saturday I took in a day-night doubleheader - and it was amazing. Not really my favorite kind of games, they both were both high-scoring affairs (Perkins got his ass handed to him by the ORIOLES, of all teams), but the Twins pulled off a victory in both! A full day of baseball in that stadium, with two Twins win, when they were in a playoff race? Just can't be beat, except maybe by Target Field!

OPINION ON INTERLEAGUE PLAY?: Man, I don't like it. I have tried to, but I just can't get into it. Basically, the simple fact that 18 games in the season have really no relevance to a given team's excellence relevant to the rest of the league, which is the team's competition for the post-season. Say we have the Twins and the Tigers competing to the end of the season, like last year. The Twins went 12-6 against the Brewers in 6 games, at the Cubs and Cards for 3 each, and at home against the Pirates and Astros. The Tigers had all the same teams, except for 3 against the Rockies instead of 3 of the Brewers games, but went 10-6. The Rockies were a much better team than the Brewers last season. Did that throw the division to the Twins? Unlikely, but it's possible. I'd be in favor of it if everyone played everyone, but there's no time for that, and I'd get tired of seeing pitchers flailing at the ball after a few weeks.

OPINION ON THE UNBALANCED SCHEDULE?: I don't love it, but it makes a lot sense, since teams are first and foremost playing the other teams in their division in order to make the postseason. A full round-robin schedule with semi-even distribution made sense before realignment, but not now. The argument has been made that teams should play outside the division more because of the wild card, but if you're playing for the wild card, it means you've already lost.

FAVORITE THING ABOUT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL AS IT CURRENTLY EXISTS: I like that MLB is FINALLY moving in the direction of adopting instant replay, and even though it isn't there, I'm happy it's moving that direction.

THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL AS IT CURRENTLY EXISTS: Two things, actually: First, the speed of the games. I know this is a fairly hot topic and a rather obvious choice, but it's just ridiculous. Yeah, there are too many manager mound visits and pitching changes, but those pitching changes are much longer than they need to be thanks to commercials. Also, today I watched Ryan Madsen (of the Phillies) pull the old "fake to third fake to first" move FOUR TIMES in three pitches. Each time, it stopped the game for a full minute or longer. I hate it that it seems like every third game takes 3 1/2 hours, whether extra innings or not. Second, I hate the seventh inning stretch. God Bless America is a horrible song, and I don't want it sung in place of Take Me out to the Ballgame. Call me unpatriotic, but it's a baseball game, not a political exercise. That and the actual music itself is bad.

FAVORITE NON-TWINS PLAYER IN BASEBALL HISTORY: I'd have to say that my favorite player is Mike Sweeney in non-Twins baseball, mostly because I have a long history with him. I lived for several years in Eugene, Oregon, and there is a Low-A short-season farm team there named the Eugene Emeralds, which are now a member of the Padres system, but at that point was affiliated with the Royals, and I remember that Mike Sweeney was just about the nicest guy ever. He was there for two years in 1992 and 1993, and he's the only player I remember from those seasons (and easily the best player on the Ems those years). Eventually, he left the Ems and I caught up with him when he joined the Royals. He's always killed the Twins, so we've occasionally been love-hate, but he was always a great guy.

MOST HATED NON-TWINS PLAYER IN BASEBALL HISTORY: I don't really get into all the AJ hate, but I've always really hated Frank Thomas. No real reason, I suppose, other than that he's always been good and I've never liked the teams he's played on, so I've always had ample reason to hate him.

DID YOU EVER PLAY BASEBALL/SOFTBALL, WHAT POSITION: I used to play, and I want to get back into it after I graduate law school. Corner outfield and catcher.

Twins Generic-

WHEN DID YOU BECOME A TWINS FAN AND WHY: My whole family is from the Midwest, so the Twins are definitely the family team. However, it took me a long time to get there, since I first was a Mariners fan (when we were in Oregon), and then a Braves fan, then the strike happened, I was a Braves fan for a while, and then I moved back to the midwest and rejoined Twins Territory. I didn't become what some might call a superfan until the magical 2006 season, which was when I started watching every game. I started the blog in 2008, during that fun season.

BEST EXPERIENCE AT THE DOME: Seeing Cal Ripken Jr. a couple years after he broke the record. That's a legend that I know I'll never see again in my lifetime.

BEST EXPERIENCE AT/PLANS TO GO TO TARGET FIELD: I wish I had plans to go to Target Field, but between the lack of a job and the distance to the Cities, I don't have any plans right now. Hopefully I'll be able to get there sometime this season!

EVER BEEN TO TWINS FEST? HOW WAS IT: Nope.

EVER BEEN TO SPRING TRAINING? HOW WAS IT: Nope.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CIRCLED BY BERT?: I don't know if it was me personally, but I went to a game at the Dome with about 200 other graduating Gustavus Adolphus seniors in 2007, and I know at least some of us were circled. He probably circled the ones that were utterly wasted, as it seemed about 180 of us were. Considering the Twins lost to the Blue Jays, they were probably having more fun anyway.

HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT A FOUL BALL OR HOME RUN AT THE DOME/TF?: No, but, funny story, when I was at a Eugene Emeralds game back in '94, I managed to almost die from a bat that was thrown into the stands by a player for the Southern Oregon Athletics. I didn't even get to keep the bat, because it was a minor league game and bats are expensive and players still had to pay for their own back then, though I did get a cracked bat from the same player after the game.

Twins Player Specific-

FAVORITE TWINS PLAYER IN HISTORY: Hands down, Kirby Puckett. I don't think there needs to be any discussion about that. And I'm judging just his playing career, not the stuff that happened after, which is sad and tragic and in some ways horrible (like the domestic abuse stuff), but I think I can separate the Twins player, and the person he became after he left the game.

FAVORITE CURRENT TWINS PLAYER: Sideshow Pat! I really love Pat Neshek, and I don't know that anyone has rooted as hard for his successful return than I have (though that's sort of a big assumption). I think at one ill-advised moment, I suggested that he be anointed closer straight out of ST. Well, bad idea, but I'm still sort of attached to it! For me, it's about more that the way he plays the game, which is strange and interesting and really good. It's also about the way he interacts with all of us on his blog and Twitter, and the interesting choices he's made. How many vegan players are there in the MLB? I'm guessing one. And I hate that he got so much crap from all of us about it after the fact. I guess I'm on the hippie pinko liberal soap box here, but I guess I have a lot of stored-up irritation at everyone who was beating him up in 2008 when he was slightly less inhuman than he had been in 2006-7, then blamed his vegan diet for his injury, then blamed him/the Twins for the futher damage later in the season that actually led to the surgery, then became huge fans once again when it became clear he'd be back for this season. Bandwagon fans are not limited to the StarTribune website, it sometimes appears. Well, that's much more than the question asked. However, I don't care, because it seems I can't do anything in under 3,000 words or so, and this is now at 2,700.

FAVORITE OBSCURE TWINS PLAYER: I've always had a real soft spot for Rondell White, even if he did spend all of 2007 on the DL, and earn the respelling of his name, RonDL, every time an opposing player breathed on him the wrong way. Sort of the feeling of, "I really want you to succeed, but to succeed you have to play, and when you play, you suck, so I guess I really don't want you to succeed, but I'm sure you're a nice person!"

ARE THERE (WERE THERE) ANY TWINS PLAYERS YOU DISLIKE: Torii Hunter. I know a lot of people that have a lot of good feelings built up for him, but I've always gotten the feeling that he was a real dick unless he was the center of attention, and I really haven't seen anything to change my mind in the last 3-4 years (or heard anything from the years before I started paying real attention). Yeah, he does a lot of great charity work. But so do the heads of the big banks that just about destroyed the economy in 2007-08. Charity work and giving money don't make you a good person; they just mean that you have the money/time to be able to help others.

CURRENT PLAYER YOU'D MOST LIKE TO WATCH A GAME WITH: Jim Thome. Not only is he about the nicest guy you could hope to meet (despite my frequent insistence on my blog that he's actually evil), but he's been around long enough that I feel like he'd have more stories about and knowledge of the game than anyone else on the team.

CURRENT PLAYER YOU'D MOST LIKE TO GO TO A BAR WITH: I'm afraid that if I don't invite the Orlando Hudson (who I call "the" Orlando Hudson because I refuse to call him "the O-Dog" or any of its variations, but I'll grant him the "the" at the beginning of his name), because if I don't I'm afraid he'll imply that I'm racist to the national sports press. However, if I didn't have to choose the Orlando Hudson, I'd choose Michael Cuddyer. He just seems like a fun guy to hang out with, while most of the rest of the crew seems too stoic for me to want to go drinking with.

CURRENT PLAYER YOU'D MOST LIKE TO BE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND WITH: Joe Mauer, because with his new fortune we could build a raft of dollar bills and sail back to civilization.

YOU'D MOST LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH: I'm going to have to say Brendan Harris, because I think we'd have a good discussion of baseball and politics. And when I say "good discussion of ... politics," I mean we shout at each other for a while.

YOU'D WANT TO BE THE FRONT MAN OF YOUR NEW BAND: Jon Rauch. You really couldn't ask for much more than a giant with a neck tattoo who enters to hard rock music.

YOU THINK SHOULD BE A MOVIE STAR: JJ Hardy. He certainly has the looks for it. Also, he's not as overexposed as Joe Mauer - really famous people going from other jobs to acting tend to suck badly at acting. Case in point - the worst actors in Little Big League were the superstars - Randy Johnson and Ken Griffey, Jr. The random minor-leaguers that played the baseball players were great.

YOU'D ASK FOR HELP ON A SCIENCE LAB: I'm going to go with Craig Breslow, because I continue to delude myself into thinking the Twins didn't let him go for nothing, and that he's really sitting comfortably in AAA, waiting for Mijares to screw up enough to get him back to the majors.

YOU'D LIKE TO START A BUSINESS WITH: I feel like Jose Mijares knows how to make some really tasty and delicious food, so I'd open a restaurant with him. It's just a hunch, but I think it's borne out.

THOUGHTS ON WHAT YOU'VE SEEN OF TARGET FIELD: It looks beautiful and like a great place to watch a game. I suppose my main critiques are these: 1. Obstructed views. I mean, the designers had to have known that people in the right field bleacher seats might want to see center or right field. That seems like really poor planning. 2. I don't like how far up the first tier of outfield seats are in centerfield. I don't want something like Fenway, but the way it is reminds me of Progressive Field - the mistake by the lake. I know it's probably because they had to deal with the Interstate and the trains underneath, but I'm still going to complain, because it's what I do. Overall, though, it looks like it plays great; the way it's set up won't have the sun in the batter's eyes for early evening games; all the reports I have heard have it sounding amazing. I can't wait to go.

EXPECTATIONS FOR THE TEAM THIS YEAR: 1st in the Central, 94 wins.

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A huge thanks to Eric! He's a great guy to chat baseball with and runs one of the best blogs I've had the pleasure of reading! So make sure to check out Call to the 'Pen!