Dick & Bert (a guest post)

My friend Alan sent me an email today I think everyone can enjoy. Alan is a New Jersey native and sometimes Yankees fan who I met in college. He started dating a Minnesota expat from White Bear Lake and consequently started to root for the Twins over the years. They live in LA now and I think his absence from the immediate Yankee media market has only increased this Minnesota Twins love of his.

Thank you Alan:

Topper,

I hope that you all in Minnesota cherish that Bert Blyleven fellow. I've been watching quite a few Twins games this year, and his ability to make a smartass comment out of nowhere is unmatched in the sports announcer world.

Here's one from the game yesterday that I enjoyed so much I had to write it down. Thought you might enjoy it, too.

Dick- Giambi had an interesting theory as to why the ball doesn't carry well here.

Bert- Does it have anything to do with steroids?

Dick- No it doesn't.

*silence*

Dick- Giambi said he had a couple uncles that were in the concrete contracting business

Bert- They're Italian, aren't they?

Dick- I presume. I don't know. And--

Bert- A couple concrete shoes involved in this story?

Dick- No.

Bert- Ok.

This is the end of the letter.

For more of Alan's and my exploits, you can check out our short documentary on the two competing Largest Balls of Twine in Darwin, Minnesota and Cawker City, Kansas. It's actually more interesting than you'd think.

Comments from the Peanut Gallery (TF Men's Room)

I had the misfortune of attending the Sunday day game against the Atlanta Braves (you know, the one where Gardy had a mental lapse and though he could get by with trotting out 4 guys with .100ish averages at the top and bottom of his lineup...).

Naturally everyone at the stadium except for the obnoxious group of Braves fans sitting in front of me thought this was a little ridiculous, and as it turns out, it was. In the 8th inning or so, my Summits began to take effect and because the game wasn't really in the balance I decided to get my first look at the Target Field men's room. It was there in line, in that athenaeum of baseball knowledge which is a ballpark's mens room, that I heard a comment that's been nagging at me for awhile.

A man in a grey Cuddyer throwback jersey (beer in hand in the restroom...) was cursing to his friend about the misfortune of the game they were watching and said: "It's just not acceptable. They've got no excuse. They really need to just call somebody up who can actually hit the ball and help them out because this is ridiculous!"

I like that thought. It's admirable. That's a lot of faith in our minor league system that a lot of people likely don't have. In fact, it's probably coming from the standpoint that everyone in the minor's is just sitting there banging on the door and the only reason they aren't on the major league team is that our roster is just packed to the brim with people who really deserve to be there.

That is ridiculous.

Not to go off on a drunk Twins fan who probably doesn't spend a whole lot of time reading up on his team, but look around the major leagues and find a 25 man roster without a hole on it. It's pretty hard to find 25 guys in your system firing on all cylinders in a way that doesn't give a fan cause to gripe.

I don't want to let the Twins off the hook here. They've definitely got some dead weight. on the team.

But do they have answers in the minors? Their biggest question marks are in the middle infield and we've already called up our top prospects there in Valencia and Plouffe (Tolbert not a top prospect but easily the most major league experience of the bunch...).

Brian Dinkleman has an awesome name and is doing OK in AAA right now but he's not on the 40 man roster and to bring him up would raise even bigger questions, like who do you outright? Likewise Matt Macri isn't doing that bad in AAA right now but also isn't on the 40 man roster and his limited experience in the big leagues wasn't that miraculous. I don't think either of them are a solution. Luke Hughes is the obvious choice but is currently on the DL and not even playing in Rochester.

Unfortunately many casual fans are probably of the mindset that we have answers stockpiled away and that's probably because our minor league system has produced so well for us in the likes of Denard Span, Jose Morales and others coming up recently and playing well during their immediate stints in the big leagues. But the reality is that it usually takes even the top prospects some time to adjust to the new level of competition and chances are Plouffe and Valencia could be very solid major league contributors if given enough time. Hudson and Hardy were supposed to be our answers this year, and Harris and Punto should be playing at least at replacement level status. The fact that our two starters are injured (along with Casilla our primary backup) and our two fringe infielders are struggling so mightily is tough but it's the situation we're in. Valencia and Plouffe should just be icing on the cake, and when they do contribute -- and they have -- we shouldn't take it for granted that we've got more like them stockpiled away.

Sorry to go on a rant about a guy in the men's bathroom, but I think we're doing OK for now. If only Hardy and Hudson would come back soon...

Return of the podcast -- TONIGHT!

Hey guys! I'll be back on the airwaves (internet waves?) co-hosting Fanatic Jack's weekly Twins Talk podcast which you can listen to here.

We will hopefully be joined by Maija of Kirby's Left Eye, an awesome new blog on the Twins Territory block (and she happens to a college buddy of mine from NYC!).

Starts at 10PM CST/11PM EST. Stop by and chat or call in with questions!

Reflections from a Target Field Newbie

I've been deprived of Twins baseball for several weeks, missing more games than I consider acceptable all due to cosmetic beauty products (let's not go there). So to reward myself, I made my first journey to Mecca and finally got to see the glory that is Target Field first hand.

By now every Minnesotan reading this is surely finding their eyes glazing over -- Ugh, please, this is so April 2010. Get with the times. Target Field is passé, we all know how awesome it is, let's just get to October!

(Maybe I'm exaggerating.)

But I do realize that my expounding on how amazing Target Field is should probably be lumped in with my delayed posts about Mauer signing, the Yankees World Series win in '09, and many other things I should just leave in the past. So I won't dwell on the subject too much -- but just bear with me for a little while while I say this:

Twins fans. Your stadium blows the new Yankee Stadium out of the water.

Yes. It's true.

I'll be honest and admit that I haven't been to that many professional ballparks. Outside of the Metrodome and now Target Field, I've really only had the pleasure of attending games at Wrigley, Shea, and both Yankee Stadium v.1 and v.2.

Shea was a dump. Wrigley just can't be compared to anything. The original Yankee Stadium was an ugly lump of concrete in the Bronx with peanut shells crusted to the stadium seating, peeling white bunting all around the top, and the stench of warm beer assaulting you from every angle. But at least it had the history. The vibe that Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle and Yogi Berra had all played countless games on that grass you had the opportunity to see. Now? Well, now it's a slightly newer ugly lump of concrete in the Bronx and it doesn't have that history but at least the bunting isn't peeling and the peanut shells are swept up somewhat consistently.

Target Field is a rarity. A gem. It has that old nostalgia feel of a ballpark with nods to a franchise history in every crevice, and it also has all the modern amenities that even Yankee Stadium seemed to pass up! Let's focus on food for one second: if you scour Yankee Stadium concourses up and down I think you'd be hard pressed to find anything outside your standard ballpark fare. Brats, dogs, burgers, chips with gooey yellow nacho cheese. Chicken fingers. That's about it. I'm not saying they should add sushi (ugh, Citifield, really?), but what about a New York hot pastrami sandwich? Little things like that which tie your ballpark in to its surroundings.

That's a second point. Target Field is so perfectly slotted into the heart of downtown and you can feel its vibe from a mile away. The open plazas that you can walk up to at any hour of the night and just peer in to see the ghost of an empty stadium gives you chills.

Yankee Stadium? Well, you can catch glimpses inside through a tiny hole as you pass by on the subway. But walking up to it it's just a giant stone colossus. There's nothing open, nothing inviting, nothing beckoning you in.

And Tony Oliva just hangs out and chats with people! Seriously, where else do you find that?!?!

Ok, I'm being unfair to Yankee Stadium. Guilty. It's a magnificent ballpark. But Target Field blows it out of the water. Without a doubt.

Friday night I had the pleasure of meeting up with a number of fellow bloggers for my first ever game. Betsy from For the Love of the Game met me outside and showed me around. We ran into Andrew from Off the Mark who was there as a fan for the evening. Then I ran into Fanatic Jack and got to chat with him on my way to meet Emily from Chatter From the Cheap Seats. And we had amazing seats (perfect for my first game and for the awesome Liriano/Hudson pitcher's duel).

After the game, Emily and Andrew and I met up with the Twins Geek and The Voice of Reason up at Town Ball Tavern for a few drinks before heading over to Sneaky Pete's to hang out with Nick Nelson.

It was a great time, and the fact that the Twins won such an amazing game was a perfect cap to it!

I went on Saturday and sat in the left field bleachers out of the rain, and on Sunday I sat in the little garden box that juts over right field. Despite the fact that we lost my last two games it was an awesome baseball-filled weekend -- just what I needed and I'm already trying to figure out when I can make the trip back!

Yes I'm Alive

Don't worry, I'm still around. And I haven't forgotten about you or the Twins. And I will blog again shortly.

A promotion at work a few weeks back in the middle of our busiest time of the season which ends this week has led to NO PERSONAL LIFE. I've been staring at and dreaming of lipstick and lip gloss and foundation and other beauty products instead of fastballs and homeruns and the now seemingly omnipresent perfect games.

Besides, no more internet doom and gloom about Seattle that I could have spouted was needed.

I'll be back with some positivity later this week (because I am flying back to Minnesota to attend my first ever game at Target Field against the Braves!!!!!)....

Dreaming of Roy

Normally when you a see top tier trade target you can take the Twins out of the running, so when Roy Oswalt decided to declare his eligibility on the trade market (much to Houston's chagrin, I'm sure) it took me awhile to realize that we might actually have interest.

The Twins have set the standard high this year -- making sweeping moves in the offseason, locking up the best player in baseball to a record contract, and matching those moves with solid upper echelon play on the field.

The only thing lacking? A legitimate ace. Liriano could be that ace if he keeps that magic alive and forgets his last few starts, but it's not so often you see someone of Oswalt's caliber waiting to fall into your lap.

I could get into all sorts of stats that show that despite entering his mid-thirties he's still a better starter than anyone on our staff, but Gleeman is much better to read in that regard. Let me just sum up a few thoughts:

Negatives:

- Salary. We've committed a lot of money to the team we have and Oswalt's owed a good chunk of money this year and next. Sure, the front office has been willing to spend this offseason for a contender, but how much is too much? If we acquire Oswalt we could be stretching our budget at the seams, and that always leads to disappointment and payroll shedding.

- Who does he replace? Slowey's been a little ineffective this season but do you give up on him when we all know how good he can be? If not Slowey, I don't think that Pavano, Baker, Liriano, or Blackburn have done anything to justify demotion. Perhaps his acquisition would simply bump Slowey or Blackburn into something of a long-relief role in the 'pen? I suppose too many starters is a good thing but you still have to answer who doesn't take the mound every fifth day.

- What do we have to give up? I don't think Oswalt will command a king's ransom, but he won't be cheap either. Houston's top prospect is a catcher so I doubt Wilson Ramos becomes a trade chip. So what other top prospects do we build a trade around? I don't think anyone wants to put Kyle Gibson in a package, that would be shortsighted. Is Ben Revere blue-chip enough? Maybe something like Ben Revere, Alex Burnett and Jeff Manship? Or maybe Bromberg and Revere? Whoever we give up for Oswalt is going to hurt and it's going to be a risk. There's no way we send them Luke Hughes and Drew Butera...

Positives:

- He's durable and effective. Last year was a little bit of an off year for him, but other than that you could bank on 30 starts, 200 innings, and a respectable ERA, WHIP, and K/BB ratio. That's the kind of pitcher every team wants and someone I'm sure we would to.

- He'd be our ace. That would take a ton of pressure off Liriano, who everyone still looks to this year to carry this rotation. If Oswalt is here to take some of that pressure off, perhaps Liriano can find his groove with a little less spotlight shining on him.

- He legitimizes us. I think every national writer loves the Twins but remarks on how we don't have any established stud in our rotation yet. Oswalt being a Twin changes all of that, and we suddenly become a team that goes toe-to-toe with anyone in a short postseason series.

- He could also take Peavy out drinking whenever we face the White Sox and perhaps get him in trouble...

-----

All that being said, I think there's legitimate reason to pursue Oswalt if the price is right. I actually wouldn't be surprised this year if we winds up in a Twins uniform, but I don't think I'd be heartbroken if he doesn't land with us.

Thoughts?

I Saw The Lights Go Out on Broadway

I've lived in New York for 7 years now -- and despite attending at least one Twins game in the Bronx every year, I had never seen a win. We might be playing well or leading into the 9th inning, but the results were always the same: Frank Sinatra blasting over the speakers about how amazing New York is and the smug looks on Yankee fan faces as I trudge back to the subway.

This year, I had the opportunity to go to all three games in the Bronx. I figured with one of the strongest teams we've ever fielded and with how well we've been playing of late, I was guaranteed to reverse my trend.

Friday I ditched out of work with a co-worker as soon as we could (he's a Yankee fan and thus acted as my bodyguard during my time in enemy territory). We missed the first inning as we hung out in line for our first beers and hot dogs of the season and by the time we made it to our seats I realized I hadn't faced one insult yet. I think it was either the fact that I had my Yankee "bodyguard" with me, or maybe they just realized how sad Twins fans must be....

View from our seats Friday night

This game actually started off great. We were playing competitively and I was able to forget about our complete ineptitude in the Bronx and actually imagined that we might, might stand a chance.

Then came the at-bat that still sends shivers down my spine. Guerrier vs. A-Rod. The place was in uproar. From the time A-Rod stepped out of the on-deck circle the cheering was so loud I wanted to shove forks in my ears. If we had actually shown any reasonable amount of success in the past, I might have been a little more confident (I didn't have the Guerrier/A-Rod career numbers in front of me...) but I knew this was the beginning of our decline.

Twins fans in front of me feel my malaise as well...

Let's just say it was a long walk home to the subway again...

One thing about coming back from Yankee Stadium is that it's always a surging mass of humanity on the way back to public transportation. You actually get home fairly quickly as they stack trains for you and fill each one up, but you still inevitably stand around on the platform surrounded by gloating Yankee fans whose eyes you can feel burning into your back as you try to remain as discreet as possible...

SATURDAY:

This time I was accompanied by both a fellow-Twins fan and a new Yankee fan "bodyguard" to protect both of us. We grabbed some brunch and cabbed it up to the stadium to make it in time. This was the day I was most excited about: I've been talking up Liriano's return to dominance to every Yankee fan I know.

My long march to disappointment...

I had my company seats today (which are awesome, and my work is quite generous to always remember when my home team is in town).

Sheltered from the sun slightly too so I don't get sunburned or rained on...

This game unfortunately just spiraled out of hand from the get-go. Liriano sure didn't look the part of the ace that I had been bragging about. While he actually didn't pitch that bad and ended up stranding plenty of runners, he still let those runners on and that was the tough part to watch.

As soon as the wave broke out for the second straight day I knew this game was over and began trying to distract myself...

...thankfully I couldn't see much of the field at that point because of some Yankee douche having fun on free hat day...

I could easily look into the press box so I spied on La Velle, Kelsie Smith, Kelly Thesier, and #StupidSouhan a little ... and I also got to watch Nick Swisher on some sort of cooking show? Because I guess the game wasn't interesting enough at that point?

My blackberry zoom isn't good, he's in the red hat. Don't know if the chef or the food would make me vomit first.

(Also I need to point out somewhere that I totally predicted Lookin' At Lucky to win the Preakness but I never made it to the OTB! He was #7, which is Mauer's number, and I was hoping we'd get lucky on Sunday.. in the bar pool though I drew Yahwanna Twist and kept trying to trade with the person who drew Lookin' At Lucky. But this is all besides the point...)

SUNDAY (GLORIOUS DAY)

I was a little worried about today. I was sitting up in the cheaper seats towards the top (which is the same area I sat in the playoffs last year). My buddy Tim took me to the game, one of the nicer Yankee fans I know, but I am of the firm belief that the rowdier and douchier fans tend to congregate towards the top of the stadium and thin out the further down you get. So perhaps my lack of verbal abuse was about to finally even out...

For being up high we had an awesome view!

I wasn't too encouraged about our chances going into this game. Despite the fact that the law of averages said we should win a game sometime, and despite the fact that we were going up against Sergio Mitre (my second favorite Yankees pitcher after Javier Vasquez), I knew we could find a way to lose if we really wanted to.

That being said, I tend to remain horribly optimistic. Even on Saturday I had hung around until the last pitch just in case we mounted a miraculous comeback. In the 8th inning as Joba began to struggle with control and our bats started to wake up a little bit, Yankee fans had completely forgotten to take us seriously. Half the stadium was back into the wave for the third straight day and was finally starting to get it traveling by the time Texeira made an Adrian-Peterson-like fumble to load the bases.

This seemed to wake everyone up a little bit. My pulse was racing as I saw Girardi come out to the mound and heard the first few chords of Enter Sandman start playing over the loudspeakers. It was like a maelstrom of activity between Yankee fans going crazy cheering, my phone vibrating with new text messages every 10 seconds, and my heart racing at the thought that maybe we might actually stand a chance.

That Kubel grand slam was the closest feeling to euphoria that I can remember.

It was like the air was sucked out of the stadium around me as Yankee fans everywhere collapsed into their seats cursing and groaning. It was beautiful. Not only did we end our drought against the Yankees and our drought of bases-loaded hitting, but we paid them back for all the times they slaughtered Joe Nathan and sent us home with heartbreak.

The tides have turned. That was the only way to come out of the Bronx that day with any sort of momentum or sense of success.

Now I can't wait to go back in October...

(leaving you with a ghost of old Yankee Stadium...)